Next time you’re hit with a breakup line, or decide to hit someone with one, both parties can use this handy translation guide to make sure you understand exactly what is being said.

Do the stanky leg.

She’s the sign holding girl, not the blow-job girl. You don’t want to see the blow-job girl.

I don’t know why they put a picture of a boy on the packaging, you know this toy will be loved by the ladies more than it will by the guys.

If you think about it, a good bottle of wine can provide you with far more entertainment, good times, and make you feel far better about yourself than most blokes..

For those curious, its actually designed as a mouth/face exercise thing. You put it on (in?) and follow a series of motions, and it basically works a few of the muscles in your face in order to do neat things like remove stretch/age marks. It’s not designed to be sexual… well, ok, it IS Japanese, so it’s probably designed to be sexual, but it was billed for a non sexual purpose.

By following these 6 simple steps, we guarantee that all men can find loving and lasting relationships.

Forget Siri, this is what I want my smart phone to do

If this card actually works, then I know I’ve found the right person.