Want spice in your sex life?
Douse each others genitals in Encona pepper and see who runs for the shower first.
If the prospect of spending the night in A&E with a burning crotch is TOO spicy for ya, then let’s tone is down and start simply.
If you are reading this thinking ‘yeah he HAS become a bit predictable’ or ‘I wish this fish would flop around a bit’ then this is the article for you.
When you hear the term ‘ spice up your sex life’ its a natural assumption that your sex life with your current partner is not up to the previous bar you set in the beginning. You must’ve been doing something right to be having sex in the first place, so now something has changed. Less enthusiasm, not so much noise, no effort to want to get into position, watching tv, are all signs that your partner is not impressed with the meal you have brought to the table.
There is one and only true way to spice up your sex life and that is for you to step up your game between heated sheets. Deliver a move on your partner that they didn’t even know they liked, make them come while doing a handstand, have phone sex with no touching and see if you can both come, etc.
Worst time to hear that your bland performance is in need of spice is while your in the middle of your thang, or even worse, just finished.
That means that your partner gave you a chance for a ‘fix up’ performance and you still fucked it up.
Talk about kick you in the face then punch you in the groin.
There is no right or wrong way to spice up your sex life. Realistically, the only true way to know is when your partner is lying next to you in a breathless heap.
But, there are plenty of ways to make things more interesting then a feeble fumble followed by a fail fuck.
When people talk about spicing up their sex lives, images come to mind of chains, whips, sexy outfits and spray cream. And though these things can create a bit of flavour to a 10-minute pumping, non-sweating sex session, its the simple things that work too.
Spend a night being different people. Not people you know, but then again that depends on your comfort level.
Go out for dinner, introduce yourselves as someone else and engage in conversation as strangers. Talk as if your meeting for the first time and don’t know anything about each other. Not only is it fun to create characters but by the time you get to your room, or home if you live together, you’ll be going at it like first timers.
All you need is the ability to play along, its not hard and could be quite enjoyable.
Spice is something that adds flavour to a meal, but always remember there needs to be a basic meal in the first place.
This is referring to the people who are well versed in providing necessary orgasms at will, on time, all day every day.
If your still struggling to make her come via just her clit, then you might need to hit the gym and do some jumping jacks.
Here are a few ‘spices’ to add to your meal:
* Close your eyes – its one thing to kiss with your eyes closed but have you ever had full sex with your eyes closed or blindfolded? Not just one of you, both of you?
From pre-foreplay to post-coital sleep, you don’t see, you just feel. Not a favourite amongst those who like to watch but there is a certain frenzied energy that builds that is definitely one to savour and share.
* No Bed – take one month, maYbe start with two weeks, and have sex everywhere else in your ramping shop. The bed is too easy to fall into. Kitchen counter is always a good level for entry but put two pairs of trainers in a pillow case, put them in the washing machine and, during the spin cycle, make sure you both put your backs into it. Try the Scissors on the stairs for a. challenge.
* Anything Goes – and that means anything. Not regularly practiced to its extreme, it allows couples to really look at what does and doesn’t turn them on. Some of the suggestions may freak you out but your learning your partners limitations.
* Song for you – it is sometimes the spontaneous moments that take us by surprise and manage to catch us in that perfect space of ‘lets do this’.
Find a really classic, singalong love song and mime the words. Silly, yes, effective, yes. This isn’t something that will fix your entire sex life but it is a fun way to instigate a situation. Spontaneity equals massive score points. But read the situation. If you’ve pissed her off and try to play, and mime to Lenny Williams belting out CAUSE I LOOOOVE YOOOOOU, you might add fuel to her fire and then you’ll never get any.
Realistically this whole article should be ‘moo’ (a cow’s opinion, it just doesn’t matter) because you and your partner should be mixing and switching it up every chance you have to get busy. Granted that certain factors like the time you’ve been together can play a part in the degeneration of your sex life but its up to you to be observant enough to notice that she’s not squirming the way she used to and he doesn’t grab the sheets when you do that ‘tried and tested’ tongue trick.
Spice is variety. Different things at different times. Some may work, some may not but its about sharing the experience that the pair of you at least tried. On the flip side, what you could possibly learn about your partner could be the key to unlocking the desires held deep within.
When you make a meal you add seasoning and spices. Some of them enhance the meal, some play down certain favours and some of them come with the right kick to straighten your back.
So the next time you have the opportunity to bump uglies with your partner of choice, try something new, be brave, you only live once…
Now go out there and tell your partner, ‘tonight we’re getting spicy’.
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