absolutely hilarious! great tips in a very blunt n humorous fashion! thanks

Brilliant So glad someone has come up with this!!

Why does someone not make a 50 mistakes guys make when having sex with guys heheheheh

Now if only every woman in the world would read this..

Wow, I think I’m going to throw up now. Actually, it is a “big fucking deal” that I’m a feminist, and shame on you for buying into the bullshit that defines the patriarchy. I don’t happen to think that in order to be sexually desirable to a decent male I must behave in ridiculously submissive and socially prescribed ways. Forgive me for thinking that a man I’m intimate enough with to have sex with on a semi-regular basis should be concerned with my sexual pleasure as much as his own, and should be at least 50% responsible for making that sex safe. Also, if he’s going to act like 80% of men and just about pass out before getting within ten feet of my tampon string, I have absolutely no obligation to get him off, because I’m not an object of his sexual pleasure. Contrary to popular belief, men do not DIE from lack of sex, and he’ll live till I’m up to task too. God forbid we indulge in something resembling conversation between orgasms.

Just stumbled onto this. I’m a 24 year old male and I need to say this.

Thank you.

I’m not a patriarchal, misogynist. Nor am I an asshole, an alpha male, or a sexual fiend.

I’m saying thank you for reminding women that, when sex happens, they’re a part of the proceedings. All of my ex-girlfriends are guilty of just about every one of these in some form or fashion and expect me to do a majority (if not all) of the work. In fact, I just noticed that I used the word “work.” That should give some indication of how much fun I’m having.

Thank you for reminding women that sex is supposed to be fun for both parties, even through all the “Disney Princess Syndrome” BS and feminist dogma spouted today.

Also, Danielle. Two things.

1.) Nobody said you need to be subservient or submissive. If that’s what you got from this article… then not only are you functionally retarded, but you’re proving the stereotype. This article has nothing to do with “do these things to please your man or else.” This article is a reminder to “get over your ego bullshit and enjoy the sex.” Being an uptight, feminist pain-in-the-ass is not only unattractive, it actually reinforces what you’re railing against; the idea that you want intimacy in your relationship instead of degrading sex. By putting up that “I’m doing this my way or else” barrier, you’re making the sex from an intimate, engaging experience into something lifeless, done purely to suit your need for an orgasm. You’re making men into sex objects, at which point you may just be masturbating, because I would kick you the fuck out of bed.

“Also, if he’s going to act like 80% of men and just about pass out before getting within ten feet of my tampon string, I have absolutely no obligation to get him off, because I’m not an object of his sexual pleasure.” Do you keep your tampons in during sex? This is an excuse. You’re justifying your actions in being a frigid bitch by relating his (rather justifiable) response in an unrelated situation to your lack of concern over his experience. I’ve known plenty of guys who had sex regardless of menstruation (including myself), so you’re really not making any headway there.

And 2.) Enjoy your shitty love life. God forbid you have a love life where you and your partner are 50-50, where you share responsibilities, inside of the bedroom and out. I can tell you from experience that I have read articles like this (written for men) and found them to be a very good source of information in how to get over MY ego and be a better lover to my partner. I didn’t piss or moan about how it’s “not my job” to “service my lover’s needs” because “I don’t want to be turned into a sex object.” I took it with a grain of salt, dropped my ego, and ran with it.

Best. Sex. Ever.

Know why? Because my girlfriend took the advice of someone else (in an article very similar to this one), and we both stopped letting our moral standings/egotism get in the way of physically and emotionally connecting to each other.

I’m not entitled to the world because I have a penis? News flash: You’re not entitled to it just because you have a vagina. Get over your shit and stop breaking out your soap box every time someone tells you that you’re not the center of the universe.

~Jack

P.S.: Sex during menstruation? Good way to get rid of cramps. Also got me breakfast in bed the next day. Enjoy.

The majority of these have happened, and it’s pissing annoying, i’m sick of reading the whole ‘Mistakes Guys Make’ it’s nice to finally have one from a guys perspective, i’m not denying that guys don’t make mistakes but when the girls mistakes aren’t highlighted it’s just annoying.

Thanks for showing my man how good he has it. We just read this together and he said a few exes of his pulled this bullshit. I couldn’t imagine looking bored/laying still/not making any noise during sex. It is way to good for that, even after more than 10 years together and just turning 30.

I’m gay, so a lot of this list is just downright irrelevant for me, but my boyfriend and I have always sympathized with our straight guy friends, because it seems a lot of them have these pressures put on them, while their girlfriends tend to hold a double standard regarding their own actions, or lack thereof.

I found much of this article insightful, entertaining, and Danielle very annoying. Here’s hoping my straight buddies start enjoying sex to the extent my guy and I do.

The only acceptable question after sex is:
“Wanna go again?”

I hate stupid people. This article was actually quite fair, and yet there is a stupid feminist who can’t see past her “A” cups, and bunch of other dumb bitches who think it’s all sexist. When entire god damn magazines like Cosmo exist, you can not possibly call an article like this sexist. Sure i disagreed with a few items here. But “sexist” is a term that i doubt anyone here (who used it) understands. If someone made a list of 50 mistakes men make, women would rally around that shit like flys on a corpse. This shit is pathetic. It’s sexist to think the woman should move a little when getting it on? I can;t even begin to comprehend how limited these people are in their view of everything. Sexist. Seriously. This is what makes relationships fall apart. This shit is why the divorce rate is so fucking high, women read cosmo and all this bullshit romance novel crap, and after years of being conditioned by the most unrealistic fucking crap, they think sex is where she lays there like a dead animal, and gets off. Oh, one last message to everyone. Don’t bother responding to this post, as anyone likely to actually respond, is so hard headed they can’t see the truth in what i said.

Quoting Danielle:
“I don’t happen to think that in order to be sexually desirable to a decent male I must behave in ridiculously submissive and socially prescribed ways.”

I’m pretty sure no where did this list indicate that sex was about him only. The closest approximation is where the author indicated that sex isn’t all about the woman’s enjoyment. Granted many men are unfortunately not interested in anything past their own pleasure doesn’t mean that everyone is like that or should take that as justification to be selfish. The other is not letting him take control. Some people are not comfortable with losing control, on both sexes. The list also did mention talking about whats acceptable. But sex is about releasing inhibition and giving way to urges right?

“Forgive me for thinking that a man I’m intimate enough with to have sex with on a semi-regular basis should be concerned with my sexual pleasure as much as his own, and should be at least 50% responsible for making that sex safe.”

The list didn’t say you should have the protection all the time. It said to not always rely on him having it. Any means that a man would generally be able to store a condom on him reduces its resiliency and increases the likelihood that it will break. (i.e. pocket, wallet, car, etc) If you meet someone out at a club or wherever and you go back to your place its highly probable that he won’t have one or it is stored in a manner that isn’t necessarily good for it. What damage is you having some at your place?

“Also, if he’s going to act like 80% of men and just about pass out before getting within ten feet of my tampon string, I have absolutely no obligation to get him off, because I’m not an object of his sexual pleasure. Contrary to popular belief, men do not DIE from lack of sex, and he’ll live till I’m up to task too. God forbid we indulge in something resembling conversation between orgasms.”

I’ll have to agree with some of the other posters, just because its that time of month doesn’t make me not have sex with my girl. That’s what showers are for. In fact, most of my male friends indicate that they still have sex during this time. However, I think regardless of having sex or your gender, most people probably don’t want menstrual blood in their mouth, if that is what you were referring to.

Lastly, the list was only about sex. It refers to nothing about a relationship outside of that sex. Men and women are both guilty about only wanting sex and don’t care about the in between.

I think Jenna is bloated with self importance. You actually sound like you're proud to be a slut. Actually 95% of these are right on. I'm sure you could learn a few things here.

Quite surprised that you complain how bad Cosmopolitan is, since ALL of these tips have been stolen straight from its pages. Good job re-wording them though, your arrogant tone almost disguises where you've ripped them off from.

Jenna – You are a female. Presumably. Therefore, how the (insert expletive here) do you know what sex is like from a guy's perspective? I am a man, and I am pretty unusual in and out of the sack. I do strange things. Yet basically all 50 of these things apply 100%. And from a man's perspective, getting a man to moan doesn't mean you're satisfying him. But good luck with figuring out what you're doing wrong, since you've apparently got your head so far up your anus that you don't realize how much of a bitch you are.

From my own experience (and compliments) the majority of these things are right. Now I don't read Cosmo so I wouldn't really know what was taken from there or whatever. I am a woman, and yes I don't know exactly what men think and experience during sex, but if you pay attention and actually talk to your man you can find out what they want from you and what you want from them. But every man is different and some like some things over other things. You cannot just create one list of dos and don'ts. It doesn't quite work that way. Chemistry changes with the partner people!

Some of these are true, some are just silly. Please everyone remember that sexuality isn't always compatible with “rules.” Talk to your partner and figure out what works for you. Talk talk talk if he/she does something you don't like or has an annoying habit, TELL THEM. Don't just blindly follow some list on the internet.

Spoken like a true celibate douchebag.

Man you're either all jealous fuckwits or you're all wit and none of the fuck.

Grow up, you all sound like secondary schoolers.

Is the person who wrote this male or female? Because
21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his cock in your butt.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don’t care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

Those two are definitely a double standard. If a man doesn't talk about what is acceptable for him prior to sex, then why is it the womans responsibility to know what is acceptable considering the other way around you claim it is a womans responsibility to tell a guy her own boundaries?

I don't know who the hell you are but this entire post is angsty and riddled with sexism and I can picture you typing this entire thing with a telephone pole up your ass.
I think you were tying to be funny really, but it didn't work……

Haha, your attempt to troll has failed, sorry.

All of these seem like pretty obvious statements. You really need to get to know the person you're with to have good sex… or at least be able to communicate with them well. If by some chance you get together with a persona and it's awesome right off the bat, then great…. otherwise expect there to be mediocre sex if you aren't willing to communicate. Aside from the fact that assuming that all ladies make these mistakes (and we don't. trust me… we don't), I have a HUGE problem with #41. Yes, it's stupid to complain if you get jizz on you… do you see your guy complaining when you get his pubes wet with your juices? But to say that jizzing is the entire point of sex… you are extremely ignorant. The “point” of sex isn't to make a guy cum… and if that's what you think, you shouldn't be having sex at all.

I totally agree with the comment below. And for the record, women have gag reflexes. Forcing your dick down our throats is not pleasant.

I doubt it. You can’t know how someone else thinks unless you actually are them. It’s funny whenever someone comes in here and says “I’m a woman but I know how men think”.

And I don’t think it was written by a woman, I think it was written by a hooker.